Sage Advice from 22-years Ago. (April 20, 2012)

From 1985 -1995, Daniel Koshland was Editor in Chief of Science.

Joseph Goldstein, the 1985 Nobel Laureate in Medicine or Physiology noted in his 2007 obituary of Koshland: "Dan accomplished the impossible in his quest for elevating science to its highest level; he performed three acts in one lifetime, all of them class acts: the visionary biochemist, the tireless institution-builder, and the eloquent public communicator."

As part of his editorial duties when EiC of Science Dan Koshland would on occasion get into dialogue with his alter ego, Dr Noitall.

Below we reprint one of his most famous Dr Noitall editorials; it appeared in the March 23, 1990 issue of the journal.

Its sardonic wit is no less cogent now, 22-years later. Indeed perhaps it is even more so.

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Two Plus Two Equals Five
 

Science. Dr. Noitall, you are the world's greatest authority on public relations, the man who could get Brezhnev elected in Orange County, the man who could sell crepes suzette as the breakfast of champions.

Dr. Noitall. A vast understatement of my true worth.

Science. We have come to ask you why scientists seem to have such a poor image.

Dr. Noitall. How can you possibly ask such a simple-minded question? You are the people who have brought us nuclear war, global warming, and acid rain. You enjoy dissecting frogs, and you keep mice and rats in little cages instead of killing them with warfarin, as any decent soft-hearted farmer does.

Science. But we're not in favor of nuclear war.

Dr. Noitall. You discovered the atom. You had your chance to stick with phlogiston, and you didn't do it.

Science. We are not in favor of global warming. In fact, we're the ones who alerted the public to this danger.

Dr. Noitall. That shows the naiveté of scientists. The Bible records the execution of messengers who brought bad news.

Science. But it is our job to tell people when 2 + 2 = 4.

Dr. Noitall. That's exactly where your views are wrong. A recent poll shows that 50% of the people think 2 + 2 = 5, and almost every network agrees with them. Those people have rights... Simply imposing 2 + 2 = 4 on them is not democracy.
                 The Establishment is lined up monolithically on the side of 2 + 2 = 4. A dissident scientist representing the 2 + 2 = 5 school cannot get his articles published in Establishment journals... [but] prominent political groups have already supported enactment of legislation, even if it is scientifically inaccurate, as long as the public wants it.

Science. Then how can we go about changing public opinion?

Dr. Noitall. Pick real successes, such as actors, actresses, and rock singers, and let them present your side of the story. Making large amounts of money and being handsome is evidence of success in modern society.

Science. But even if we pick attractive spokespersons, how can we convince them of the truth?

Dr. Noitall. That is another misconception that you are going to have to get rid of... A stubborn insistence on the facts instead of the people's perception of the facts makes you look heartless and disdainful. You are going to have to come out as more reasonable and accommodating...

Science. So how do we handle the 2 + 2 = 4 problem?

Dr. Noitall. I'd suggest you start by conceding that 2 + 2 = 4½