While Humpty Dumpty went to considerable effort to explain to Alice the meaning of the first (and final) stanza of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky, there he let the matter rest, so there is little guidance regarding the definitions and meanings of the intermediate five quatrains. As Charles Dodgson Carroll had a day job as an Oxford mathematician. And if the enabling sciences had been having as bad a time in the England of the 1870's as they are now in Australia, perhaps he may have written Jabberwocky as an allegorical struggle against academic annihilation, if not it may now serve the purpose.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

 The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

 The frumious Bandersnatch!"

Is that how the current Minister for Education, Science and Training views the higher education sector?

"When you become a Cabinet Minister, the Prime Minister writes you ... a Charter Letter. It sets out the Prime Minister's expectations of what you will do and what will be the priorities for you in your portfolio. [I]n relation to Universities, [it] said that I should understand and enunciate the importance of higher education to the Australian community, and I should continue to progress workplace relations reform in the sector."

[Brendan Nelson, Chalmers Oration, Flinders Medical Centre, Adelaide July 17, 2003]

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

"Within three weeks of being in the portfolio there were a number of things that were clear to me. The first is, that those of you who argue from the higher education sector that there is a crisis, can I just say to you, please desist at that kind of language? And the reason I say that is because there are Australians who are living in parts of this country where entire industries are disappearing, who at times have neither the skills nor indeed the level of education which enables them to deal with that easily.

   " If you want to see a crisis, have a look at school attendance by Aboriginal Australians in Arnhem Land: 25-54%. If you want to see a crisis in education, consider that only 16 of 378 Aboriginal children outside of Darwin and Alice Springs can pass a basic year 3 reading test."

[Brendan Nelson to the Australian Academy of Science. May 2, 2002]

 

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

 

"When I came into the job I was told about the crisis in universities. I looked back through the National Archives – there’s been a report on the crisis in Australian higher education, published in 1952, 1965, 1970, 1980, 1994 and 2001. The overall position of the sector is sound, currently. $20.8 billion in fixed assets, $4.8 billion in liquid assets. A operating position of $430M, a 34% improvement on year 2000. Borrowings in the sector $591M, which is 2.9% of asset value. When you look at broad terms, across the sector, you wouldn’t describe it as a crisis. As I said to those who were saying, oh the sector’s in crisis, I said "Oh OK". I said "if you want to see a crisis in education, just have a little look at Aboriginal literacy outcomes in the Pilbara, the Kimberley, the Cape, the Northern Territory."

[Brendan Nelson, Chalmers Oration, Flinders Medical Centre, Adelaide July 17, 2003]

 

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

 

"I said to the Academy of Science on Thursday night, whilst I understand that people in the sector speak of a crisis, of crises, I just repeat again, the university sector has $20 billion of fixed assets available to it, $4.4 billion in liquid assets, $10.4 billion in revenues this year - almost $2 billion increase over the past 5 years. ... If you want to talk about a crisis, I would suggest that for a start, where only a quarter of Aboriginal Australians in some parts of Arnhem Land attend school, I put that in the crisis category. When only 16 of 378 Aboriginal kids outside Darwin or Alice Springs can pass a basic year 3 reading test, I put that in the crisis category."

        [Brendan Nelson to the Nationsl PressClub, May 8, 2002]

 

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

 

"[I]n relation to Universities, [the Prime Minister's] letter said that I should understand and enunciate the importance of higher education to the Australian community, and I should continue to progress workplace relations reform in the sector."

[Brendan Nelson, Chalmers Oration, Flinders Medical Centre, Adelaide July 17, 2003]

 

 

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.