Is it a Question of What is the Shemozzle or Who is the Shlimazel? (October 15, 2005)

The Maelstrom

    While university staffing and infrastructures continue to erode with the assistance of the Coalition government, with little recognition or angst from the Australian public and with ineffectual lobbying by the academic and research sectors of either the public or parliamentarians, the farce of the brouhaha over "voluntary student unionism" (VSU) gains momentum with the gleeful assistance of the media as Senator Barnaby Joyce continues to drive thorns into the paws of the Federal cabinet.

This past Thursday The University of Melbourne issued a statement after the university's VSU working group met to discuss the legislation and decided that because of the "continued uncertainty regarding the passage of the VSU legislation" it would charge the $392 amenities and services fee when enrolments start on Monday October 17.

Despite both Prime Minister John Howard and the federal Minister for Education, Science and Training, Brendan Nelson, declaring the legislation would be passed before the end of year, Melbourne University is taking seriously National's Senator Barnaby Joyce' threat to cross the floor if amendment's to the legislation in accordance with his demands are not introduced.

According to the university it had planned to redirect $6 million from its teaching and research budgets to support essential non-academic services that students could subscribe to, including its Student Union.

That plan is now on hold and the administration has promised to refund the amenities and service charge if the VSU legislation is enacted in time to affect the 2006 academic year.

Now The Australian reports that "Education Minister Brendan Nelson's plan to liberate students from compulsory fees by next year is in disarray, with most of the nation's universities likely to follow Melbourne and charge a services levy next year."

"We're almost certain to go the same way as Melbourne University," Queensland's acting vice-chancellor, professor Paul Greenfield, told The Weekend Australian, and described the situation as a "total mess".

Does any of this matter? Well, it depends on your viewpoint. If you care about the state of Australia's universities and their role in the well being of Australian's you bet it does. If what you care about is bringing the universities to heel, the chaos coupled with their erosion is useful.

Which brings us to Shemozzle vs Schlimazel.

 Shemozzle = (Aus Colloq) A highly confused state of affairs

Shlimazel  = (Yiddish) consistently unlucky person

So Paul Greenfield is saying that as it stands VSU is a Shemozzle.

We might add that as matters continue to develop, the universities collectively are Shlimazels.

By way of explanation, "If a shlemiel is one who always spills his soup, the schlimazel is the one on whom it always lands," and the way things are going Brendan Nelson on the basis of realizing objectives is no shlemiel but the universities surely qualify as shlimazels.

One thing's certain, it's turning into a right shemozzle.

And you ain't seen nothing yet, just wait 'til the next act of the RQF show.