When You Begin to Think About Getting Professional Help, the Symptoms are Worrisome not to Say Serious. (April 21, 2005)

    According to The Australian's Samantha Maiden Australia's universities have become sufficiently disturbed by the recent behaviour of the Minister for Education, Science and Training, Brendan Nelson, to consider calling in professional help in the form of Lynton Crosby.

Mr. Crosby has been the mastermind behind Prime Minister John Howard's election strategies since 1996. Currently he is in Britain as the Tories' campaign director overseeing Michael Howard's push to unseat Tony Blair in the May 5 general election. If he pulls that one off, he'll be the Commonwealth's Carl Rove and could probably get an invitation to mount a campaign for Satan to become doctrinal overseer for Heaven.

In any case the members of the Australian Vice-Chancellors' Committee believe that relations between the university sector and Dr Nelson have become so strained to move them to discuss bringing in Crosby to beef up their front line. If nothing else perhaps the AVCC are at long last entertaining the reality that to combat the catastrophe that is engulfing higher education they are going to require professional forces of the first rank.

On the other hand the AVCC, true to form, is hanging pretty limp. Samantha Maiden writes, "As federal parliament prepares to debate legislation to enshrine voluntary student unionism, the Australian Vice-Chancellors Committee has warned university chiefs that arguing for a retention of compulsory fees would further damage the relationship with Education Minister Brendan Nelson." Apparently the good doctor is now viewed by AVCC President Di Yerbury and her fellow vice-chancellors as a vessel of nitro-glycerine -- if agitated he might go off.